The room was relatively dark. I could make out the outline of a few figures though. I was not alone.

Light is a natural stimulus and hence when I found it shining brightly through the smallest of cracks, I knew that was where I should be heading.

At the exact moment that I had that thought, my eyes got accustomed to the darkness and the room became vaguely visible. I was surprised to see me dressed in white, standing there weak and worthless. But how could that be? I was able to see myself there in third person. I ruled out the possibility of it being a mirror because I could see I was personally wrapped up in some kind of an old rag. Then who was that who shared my face? Even though he had a certain aura around him, he looked lean and completely worn out as if he was struggling to keep himself on his feet.

I was really confused so as to what was happening. The last thing that I could clearly remember was seeing that old woman carrying two heavy sacks in her hands while I was on my way home after buying certain things from the market. I could not remember what happened next. But somehow there I was watching someone like myself who looked half dead.

Suddenly, I saw him gather all his strength and trying to make a dash for the light from the crack. His rapid movement was cut short with a deafening blow that sent him crashing onto the floor. However, I did not feel anything but I was curious to know what was going on. I understood the whole scenario stank of trouble. I kept my mouth shut and just stood watching.

I was wondering who landed that blow and as if to satisfy my curiosity, I saw a hulking figure standing over the ‘white’ me.

By then my eyes had grown pretty well accustomed to the darkness and I could see things clearly. The new figure was not alone. There was a really beautiful girl along with him who looked disturbingly familiar. For a few seconds I could not take my eyes off her and slowly I realised that anything and everything she was, was what I wanted in a woman.

My thoughts were cut short by the screeching of a car’s break. I did not know where it came from, but there was an awesome looking sports car in the room. The door opened and a guy got out. He looked really cool with black shades and all. Well built. He resembled the movie star whom I always dreamt of meeting someday.

He stood there mocking the helpless figure on the ground. I began to feel pity for the helpless ‘me’ lying there. Why was this fate upon him? I had no idea. All I could do was to wait and see what would happen.

At that instant, as if with a sudden burst of energy, the figure on the ground jumped and tried taking a shot at the hulking figure. But the latter one was too strong and he again floored the ‘white’ me. I started getting angry.

However, the hulking figure snapped his fingers and a music started playing in the background. I recognised the song instantly. It was one of my favourite songs and upon hearing it, my anger subsided.

The big guy started to turn slowly. I still couldn’t make out his face but I was sure he was the boss there. Everyone stood there in deep respect of him. Many people had appeared in the room by now. Most of them were on the big guy’s side as if awaiting orders from him. Only one or two dressed in white were with the one on the floor and they too were as feeble as him.

The big guy went over to a table on which there was a laptop. I could make out what was on the screen. It was my favourite game. However, when he went and sat in front of it, I began to feel disturbed for I could see his face. It seemed familiar and yet strange. I went a bit more closer and what I saw froze me with disgust.

He had my face!

Yet there was so much wrong with it. Even though one could make out that it resembled my face, it had the eyes of a man who did not have an ounce of love or sympathy. The face itself was so twisted that it was horrible to behold. Only the ones who could derive pleasure out of pain and cruelty would be able to bear that face.

My mind was beginning to fill with hate, anger and disgust. I was not that ugly or cruel! My thoughts were cut short when something strange caught my eye. I saw the ‘white’ me looking at me. I saw him looking at with me with pleading eyes and pointing to something behind me. I kept on staring at him. However, as if something pulled my gaze along with the direction at which his finger was pointing to, I slowly began to turn my head and looked behind me.

I saw the old woman just a few feet away from me, standing and panting heavily having put down the heavy sacks. I had to help her.

With this in mind, I turned back to the room, only to see something completely amazing. The ‘white’ me was sitting on the floor now. But he looked completely rejuvenated. All the signs of tiredness and weakness had vanished from his face and body. The aura around him shone brighter, He had a confident pleasant smile on his face.

He was slowly raising himself from the floor at the moment which the celebrity in the black shades standing there saw him. “Stay down!”, he shouted and clenched his fists ready to land a blow.

His raised arm was about to come down crashing upon the one on the floor when in the blink of an eye, the ”white’ me rose up landing a huge uppercut right on the jaw of the cool guy. He was taken out.

Seeing this, the hulking figure got up but the beautiful lady gestured him to wait. She went towards the ‘white’ me and looked into his eyes. Her gaze was so strong and seductive that his eyes slowly began to lose its determination. His released his clenched fists. He relaxed and the lady slowly went near him and put her hands around his shoulders. She slowly brought her lips near to his.

“Hiya!”, he screamed and landed a fierce blow on her belly followed by a strong right fist on her face. She was thrown away with the strength of his punch. At this, the hulking figure and his goons were on him. But the two with him had now become many. It was a small battle with many clad in white against many in black both headed by people looking like me.

However, the whites were too strong and they won the battle easily. When I looked upon the scene once again after rubbing my eyes, there was just the ‘white’ me standing there. He looked handsome and fair. He resembled goodness and it was a pleasure looking at him. Slowly, he turned and looked at the crack the bright light was shining from. He went towards it, put his fingers in the crack and ripped it apart letting in a dazzling light!

I went  and took the sacks in my hands. The old woman looked and smiled at me.


7 thoughts on “Myself.

  1. It was a gripping read!

    Some nit-picking (with my activist hat on), black-white sterio types are so deep in our subconcious minds that we can’t let it go. White being the symbol of goodness and black being that of bad is the prejudice embedded in our popular culture, a relic of the colonial past. We have to be concious about avoiding prejudices like these.

    • Hmmm… Funny that you should point that out because while writing the sentence, “It was a small battle with many clad in white against many in black both headed by people looking like me”, I felt weird that I was referring to the white as good and black as bad. Of course, I did not mean that in any other sense than just to depict two parts of our mind. However, I did wonder why the ‘black and white’ metaphor popped up in my head by default.

      It could be a prejudice. But I need to look back upon all the times that ‘black’ and ‘white’ have resembled bad and good respectively in my life. I need to figure out if on any occasion it was meaningful or whether on all the occasion it was used because we had that prejudice deep within ourselves.

      Thanks for pointing it out. I’ll write about it once I’ve exhausted all my thoughts and learning till now regarding it.

      Oh and thanks for the compliment too!

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