The deadline wonders and the Technical bull-shit generator.

Well, the heading pretty much says it all.

You know this certain feeling of responsibility and vigor that comes over you about something you could care less when you are suddenly reminded about that thing’s deadline? Then that is exactly what I’m talking about.

Let it be anything. From assignments, to exams, to paper submissions, to project reports, to even getting signatures from certain creepy people who always creeps up behind you and catches you at the exact moment when you have let your guard down. The list goes on and on and on. And for those of you who have been in college, you know all too well what I’m talking about.

I mean, come on! What’s the whole deal about anyway? If these so called “experienced faculties” who impose these deadlines upon us have at least helped us in the minute sense to get things done, then I wouldn’t be writing this post. But as usual, their words speak louder than their actions. Hey! Wasn’t it the other way around? Yeah well, you know what I’m talking about.

But the funny part is the sudden super sincerity that dawns upon us towards our project or labs or whatever. All of us will be like hell trying to whip up things into shape from zero to a sudden fifty or sixty percentage! Things that we thought impossible and too tough till then becomes all too trivial. From places and resources unknown we seek and get help and finally, no matter how dumb you are regarding the stuff, you’ll have your report or code ready for submission just as those guys who have worked hard for months (assuming guys like that exist). As I said, deadlines work wonders.

I remember during my s5 classes us having Programming Paradigms lab. We had 4 different languages to learn in one single semester without any help whatsoever from the faculties. And that too, not the basics. We were expected to code fluently in them. The following is what one of my friends, Ranjith AKA Chellapan, had to say about it.

“2010 saw the large scale enlightenment of our Java, Lisp and Prolog neurons of our brains. Kudos to the teacher who taught us deadline programming in all the languages we didn’t know.”

But then again, in a really wonderful, amazing and elusive way, we all completed all the programs in all the languages and submitted our fair records in time. How that happened, well… Here comes the technical bull-shit generator!

Usually for labs and all we need not use the above mentioned device as the codes are pretty straight forward when copy pasting. But during the submission of project reports for a deadline and the staff says, “I don’t care. 30 pages and nothing less”, this certain inner hidden power within you awakens that creates bull-shit by the truck load.

I say this because I just did this yesterday.

The coming Friday being our project evaluation dates, we had to show our report before hand and get the signs. And our “guide” wasn’t happy until she saw page numbers! Page numbers and page numbers and page numbers! She was kinda addicted to it. So how else to make her happy but to endow upon her PAGE NUMBERS?

Come on! She didn’t even look inside the report. She just looked at the contents page and said that 3 headings come in the same page! She didn’t even care about what we had written in there. She won’t care what we have written in there as long as our report is like 50 pages… Sacre Bleu!

And then that’s exactly what I did. I sat and turned on my long asleep technical bull-shit generator and paper numbers were flowing!

I don’t know where the ideas and things that I couldn’t figure out for so long kept coming into my head. But it came and the cool device did its job. From a mere 5 pages report, I made it a 20 page report. Of course, she wasn’t happy with it either. But on the promise that we will make it at least 50 pages by the end of our project, she gave her sign.

Whew… I hate myself for all the crap that I’ve written there. But I guess none of us are that different when it comes to this, aye?

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3 thoughts on “The deadline wonders and the Technical bull-shit generator.

  1. This happens in most of the educational institutions. They don’t read a single word but they want some ## number of pages in the report or assignment. And in the end, we get a signature – A reward for writing worthless piles of crap and sleepless nights. Huh.

  2. Pingback: Pining to write. « A 'psycho' path.

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