e-birth, e-life and e-grave. E-volve!

The world is moving on quite fast and if people could shit and pee in the clouds, they would do that too. (Well I guess…. Nope nothing!)

As the cloud mania continues, everything is going onto the net. Read my thoughts on cloud here:

Cloud – A menace?

However, I fear life itself is being shifted away from us. Relations, love, connections, job, meetings, to name a few are already on FaceBook and other social networking sites. It is only a matter of time before births happen on the social networking sites.

Think I’m joking? Wait and see.

There will be this “Request marriage” button on people’s profile pages. Click it and after a while if he/she accepts it, a new community will be automatically created that will be the venue for the happy day. Friends from both people’s friends list will be automatically sent an invitation and a day will be fixed.

An animation marriage of some sort will happen and since people are not happy with real life happenings and relations these days, both the husband and wife can have a virtual life. Cool.

They probably will have a common profile created with the buttons “Have sex”, “Produce Babies” and stuff. “Hey, why not assign points to the number of times you click this and see who has the happiest life doing more sex?”

So one fine day they click on the “Produce babies” button and viola! A baby profile with features blended from both the parents profile is created. No need to wait 10 months and go through all the pain. Instant mix! This profile is not alterable except for some fields. (Hey, it would be kinda nice if you had a ‘delete’ button too!)

The babies age will slowly increment each year (How about an option to set the rate of increase of age?) and the parent’s profile will have some sort of “credits” for all the “jobs” (Think of some work on the net which if you do you get credits) they did and they have to spend this for the child’s education… Hey no! That wouldn’t be cool. Not as long as google is there. Free education it is then! Awesome. The baby educates himself with a few basic knowledge.

But the question is, who will take up the profile’s responsibility? I dunno. Hey FaceBook guys, isn’t it easy to handle more than one profile? Ah Good. So maybe people can volunteer to take up profiles.

But hey! Look at the bright side of things going on. Population will be cut down radically because all the sex is done virtually! Cool. People who follow the conventional method shall be cursed and cast off by the society. Crucified maybe.

A new age of peace and happiness where your body doesn’t even have to move! Wonderful! Already this is happening in the name of “maintaining friendships and relations”. But you see, sooner or later, we’re going to e-volve.

So life goes on.

Just a quick thought here. You guys might want to see the movie “The Surrogates”. You can feel all of the stuff that I talked about waiting just around the corner.

But that’s not all! Can immortality be there? Sigh… Not yet I guess. But let us stick to the real life flow itself for now. Born, lived, and now the great leveller! Death.

How can we implement this? Let’s see…

The profile’s owner will probably have to post a status message, “Hey! I’ve kicked the bucket!” Ha ha… That would be like supernatural.

Let’s get serious.

Since everything is on the net, people not being online or people not updating their profile page often is not going to happen at all. There will be constant updation of your profile page. So we can, without worry, say that once a certain time limit gets expired in which there is no activity in your profile page, you’re deemed dead.

You will be given a proper ceremony and stuff and there will be this dark and dull page called the e-grave where dead people’s account from all the social networking sites will be brought and put so that their families can click ‘mourn’, ‘like’, etc buttons. Maybe you can have  an “emotions counter” associated with each profile so that each time you click a ‘mourn’ button from the e-grave, your “emotions counter” goes up or something.

Whoa! Ideas are keeping on popping into my head as I go on writing. But putting them all down here would be trivial. I’ve brought you to your death from your birth through the net. And hey, it might be possible to do reincarnation too! Second birth! In the form of a, of a… WOW!! Think of the amazing possibilities!

Guys, I’ve written this a bit funny. But think about it. Don’t you feel these thing are going to come? And if you’re already addicted to this kind of life, do you think you’ll be able to resist these changes once they come?

Laugh at me. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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14 thoughts on “e-birth, e-life and e-grave. E-volve!

  1. Ah… makes me remember the movie cartoon Wall-E… And a movie I forgot the name, where the characters play in a virtual game and can’t get out! Scary!

  2. why do you think that everyone who uses facebook is addicted to it? Everything has its own positives and negatives. It all depends on how you use it which ultimately depends on the person that you are. There are lots of people out there who use social networking in the right way and profit from it in their lives. And for your information the virtual world that you have conjured up already exists. There are sites (some Indian too, one even by godrej i think) that let you do most of the things you have mentioned in the article.

  3. It is the “If you’re not onto social networking, you’re not cool”, “You can’t keep in touch with your family and friends if you’re not in social networking” kind of attitude that bugs me. People, sadly including a few of my closest friends even are of that attitude.

    There are people who can grasp things quickly when learning. They have time to spare for sitting and commenting on comments. But they encourage other people as well who might only understand a word or two if they sit in front of their books for like hours.

    Its this encouraging attitude that I hate.

    If you’re alright with it, fine. Shut up and live with it. But some people succumb to the temptation easily and why do you want to be the one who lead them unto it? That is the addiction I’m talking about.

    Do try evaluating yourself with that in perspective. Whether you have encouraged someone who would have spent his time better if he hadn’t been tempted to use social networking.

    So it not only “ultimately” depends on what sort of person you are, but also on what kind of people your friends are.

    And as for the sites similar to the thoughts I had already existing, all the more reason why everyone should be on red alert.

    But hey, thanks for the frank comment.

  4. so is this the post that you were writing about me? 🙂 yes, i created our group in fb and encouraged my classmates to join it. But i have never told anyone to sit for hours in fb and waste their time. That group is there so that we all keep in touch for the rest of our lives and also to help us relive the memories we had in college.

    Now consider this. U want abacus to be active and encourage every one to be part of it. Now suppose some of us (even if it is a single person) gets too excited and starts thinking too much into it, putting aside all studies and eventually has a tough time passing out from college, and if anyone says its all your fault, would you agree.

    I am sitting here in class and writing out this long comment in your blog paying no attention to what the teacher is saying and macha it’s all your fault. 😀

    • This is getting exciting! He he…

      Bub, I guess you’re right. It isn’t your fault. But just Facebook’s. Let’s see if I can’t keep in touch with all of you and not relive the memories I had in college without being there in the group.

      And as for Abacus, you win again. But do let me know what exactly you meant by “too much Abacus”. That he will get into too much of organizing technical events and get exposed to the real world out there or that he will get deeply into coding?

      Show me your cryptography/adbms notebook and we’ll see about your attention span.

      Cheers!!

  5. ..The idea would be more realistic if its a linux kernel.All of them downloading the sources and making thier on changes.it would help u create newborns of desired traits and character.long live FOSS

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